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  1. #241

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    Overheard on the D.C. Metro (subway) last week:

    "We missed a golden opportunity during the inauguration. While all the niggers were on the Mall in D.C. we should've gone and gotten all our shit bac from their houses."

  2. #242
    Officer
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Fuxation nation
    Posts
    32

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    Revised 2009 Hunting Season Regulations

    Owing to the apparent shortage of North American big game and for the enjoyment of honorable hunters, open season has been declared on the Porch Monkey. Known by many other common names, the feral Porch Monkey may now be hunted for sport.

    Due to the extreme popularity of this sport, a dedicated committee of seasoned hunters has recommended the following strict regulations for hunting this beast.

    1. Porch Monkeys may not be shot over bait such as watermelons, KFC, grape drinks, etc.

    2. Natural common areas such as watermelon patches, mailboxes on the first of the month and parked Cadilacs with black interiors are fair.

    3. Public areas and sports events are prohibited due to the risk of injuring humans.

    4. Armed hunting parties of more than 200 are prohibited.

    5. No more than 300 Coon Hounds may be used in any single hunting party.

    6. Spotlighting after dark is permitted.

    7. Traps rated at more than 4,000 pounds are prohibited.

    8. Daily limit for individuals is 20. Season limit is 3,500.

    Happy hunting!


  3. #243

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    Subject: How to tell the difference between a Democrat, a Republican, and a Southerner



    First, pose the following question:



    "You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?"



    *** Democrat Answer: "Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.



    *** Republican Answer: BANG!



    *** Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??

  4. #244

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    ebaychamp wrote:
    Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
    He heard boys' pants were half-off.
    Q: Why does Michael Jackson always lose marathons?
    A: He's always coming in a little behind

    Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
    A: One's made of plastic & dangerous for children to play with and the other holds groceries

    LUFTWAFFE: 10, NIGGERS: 0

  5. #245

    Default

    One day a cougar coalburner was cruising through niggertown when her Ferrari started to sputter and puff smoke. She looks over at the side of the road and sees a sign that says Uncle Remus' Garage. So she pulls into the garage and Uncle Remus says "I can fix this, but I won't have the part for it until tomorrow. You can stay the night @ my place on one condition: you don't mess with my two lil' niglets". The coalburner agrees so they go back to Uncle Remus' house and settle in for the night. About midnight the coal burner gets all hot and bothered and goes into the niglet's room. She says:"Tonight's your lucky night lil' niglets. I'm all hot and turned on and I'm going to let you both muh dikk me all night long. But I don't want to catch AIDS from you, so you'll both have to put these condoms on". The niglets agree to this and, as promised, the coalburner let's them muh dikk her all night long. The next morning Uncle Remus gets the part and fixes her car and she leaves.

    20 years later Uncle Remus has passed on and the lil niglets are both grown up and running the garage. One day Jamal the older niglet looks at his brother and says:"Hey, remember that coalburner that let us both muhh dikk her all night long twenty years ago?".
    And his brother goes "yeah, I remember dat ho!"
    "Well, says Jamal, I don't care if that bitch does get da AIDS. I'm taking dis muhfuggen condom off!"

    LUFTWAFFE: 10, NIGGERS: 0

  6. #246

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coon Commander View Post
    Why are blacks so fast?










    They spent the 1st 9 months of life dodging a coat hanger
    THAT WAS GREAT !

  7. #247

    Default

    An out of state hunter walks in to a small diner in Alabama. The waitress seats him and takes his order. She then asked if he was a hunter. The man replied yes I am. After the waitress brought his order she asked if he had shot his two niggers yet. The man was stunned and asked what she was talking about. She then explained that the state legislature decided that there were too many niggers and decided that anyone with a valid hunting license could shoot two niggers that year. Well the hunter paid no attention to it and went on with his business. Later on at the sporting goods store the cashier asked if he had shot his two niggers yet. The man paid no attention to it again and left the store headed for the field. As he was driving down the road he noticed a group of niggers picking watermelons in a field. He thought to himself what the hell it's only a couple of niggers. So he stopped got out of his truck, took aim shot twice and nailed two of the niggers. All of the sudden here came the game warden with his lights and sirens on. And the hunter thought oh shit what have I done. The game warden got out of his truck and said what the fuck do you think you are doing. So the hunter explained what he had been told and the game warden said you can shoot two niggers with a valid hunting license but not over a baited field.

  8. #248

    Default

    What's a black mermaid?
    A carp with tits.

  9. #249

    Default

    Why did the nigger run when his girlfriend said she wanted to give him a blowjob?
    He was afraid it would cancel his unemployment benefits.

  10. #250

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    Two guys work together - a black guy and a white guy. The nigger notices that the white guy always came to work with a smile on his face. He asks him "Man, how come you come to work with a smile on your face every day?" The white guy replied "That's because I make love to my wife every morning before work." Amazed the nigger asks him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning. "That's easy," the white guy said. "I just tell her the same poem when I wake up: Blondie, Blondie, eyes so blue, I just love waking up and making love to you!" Well, determined the nigger decides to take his friends advice. The next day the nigger shows up to work all beat to hell - black eyes, broken nose, fat lip... the works. The white guy says, "Man, what happened to you???" The nigger says "I don't know, I went home and tried your advice." "Well, what poem did you tell your wife?" the white guy asked. The nigger replied: "Nappy head, Nappy head, eyes like a frog, If I could roll your fat ass over, I'd do you like a dog!"

 

 

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